The thing about having to go to work around eight thirty or nine o’clock in the evening means that it leaves my poor, sad and lonely boyfriend home alone with nothing to do but watch those lifestyle slash entertainment type programmes predominantly aimed at women, such as Nigella’s Christmas and How Clean is your House?
But do I return home to a prize stuffed and roasted turkey complete with honey roast parsnips and garlic and rosemary pan fried roast potatoes?
Do I find that our windows are sparkling from a splash of vinegar and newspaper, and our pans brought up like new from a dash of coca cola and bicarb?
I come home to a message from the researchers of Trinny and Susannah Undress advising that following Lee’s phone call they would be very interested in meeting us and would like to set a date to come and interview us at home.
Do I look like the type of girl who wants to stand naked in front of millions of viewers (shudder at the thought of how local community care teams up and down the British Isles would cope with the influx of referrals for counselling following such a horror being aired before the watershed), or have my breasts poked and prodded by two over enthusiastic women who believe in spending nothing less than £45 on a single piece of underwear (the mere thought of my Asda George multi-pack knickers would surely be enough to give them severe chest pains and require gas and air).
Ladies – never leave your impressionable man at home, alone, with a phone and a women’s lifestyle slash entertainment show.