Wednesday, December 13, 2006

My Boyfriend, the Berk

The thing about having to go to work around eight thirty or nine o’clock in the evening means that it leaves my poor, sad and lonely boyfriend home alone with nothing to do but watch those lifestyle slash entertainment type programmes predominantly aimed at women, such as Nigella’s Christmas and How Clean is your House?

But do I return home to a prize stuffed and roasted turkey complete with honey roast parsnips and garlic and rosemary pan fried roast potatoes?

Do I find that our windows are sparkling from a splash of vinegar and newspaper, and our pans brought up like new from a dash of coca cola and bicarb?

No.

I come home to a message from the researchers of Trinny and Susannah Undress advising that following Lee’s phone call they would be very interested in meeting us and would like to set a date to come and interview us at home.

Do I look like the type of girl who wants to stand naked in front of millions of viewers (shudder at the thought of how local community care teams up and down the British Isles would cope with the influx of referrals for counselling following such a horror being aired before the watershed), or have my breasts poked and prodded by two over enthusiastic women who believe in spending nothing less than £45 on a single piece of underwear (the mere thought of my Asda George multi-pack knickers would surely be enough to give them severe chest pains and require gas and air).

Ladies – never leave your impressionable man at home, alone, with a phone and a women’s lifestyle slash entertainment show.

Please.

7 comments:

~*Gems*~ said...

Once again my initial reaction is lol! But not just lol, it is more like lol lol lol! Are you serious?! :o)
I love Lee, he's so funny! :o) But surely a visit from Trinny and Susannah can be nothing short of a good thing?! Can it?!

Gaye said...

ROFLMAO
i watched that programme i thought it was brilliant.

mmm! not sure about the screen thing though LOL

Tina said...

ROFL!!!!
It probably is a good thing if they plan on buying you a whole heap of new clothes. At least Lee will know how to get them lovely and clean!

Oh, and TAG, you're it!

Gaye said...

Tag you are it! :D

Di said...

Brilliant Nat, just brilliant. I was having a bad morning til I read your blog!!

Cee in SF said...

That's HI-larious! Should I watch for it on BBCA?

Chrissie said...

Oh you fooooool woman...£2000 worth of new clothes...NICE new clothes...and a really fab haircut and makeover and a photo sesh.

Go on. DO IT!