Thursday, July 13, 2006

Pearls Of Wisdom

Good morning!!!

Well, as you all know, I’m a lovely, friendly, helpful kinda gal, and I like to share helpful hints and tips I pick up along the highway of life, and inspire and share them with you. Especially in the scrapping sense. So today, I have one of these anecdotal words of wisdom to share with you. Please be aware no Tenancy Support Workers were (seriously) hurt during the discovery of today’s little gem.

Tip for Secret Stashers (Secret Stasher, noun; person who sneaks scrapbooking stash into work to complete projects in the small hours when they think they will not be caught)
Do not be tempted to run bazzil cardstock attached to copier paper through the dodgy office printer. It is highly likely that said piece of bazzil will dislodge from said piece of copier paper just as it runs through the rollers inside the printer and consequently stuff the machine up. (stuff, adjective; to break or destroy). Such an act is likely to lead to the discovery that you partake in your leisurely hobbies whilst on shift, rather than attend to your duties as highlighted in your job specification. (Job Specification, noun; a list of duties you will be expected to carry out within your work role. Most often includes the phrase “ and any duty as seen fit by the direct supervisor/manager” e.g. counting the hostel jigsaw puzzle pieces and checking that all the biros work).

However, should the above advice not be followed, and you do find yourself in the situation of having a piece of card jammed in office printer, thus jeopardising your future career, the following remedy has been found to rectify the problem.

Remove pair of metal serving tongs from kitchen drawer. Return to office, switch off power supply to printer and proceed to stick tongs into machine to retrieve offending piece of bazzil. This may involve much tugging and brute force, as well as grazes to the forearm and wrist.

Once bazzil is successfully dislodged from the machine, either stuff into pocket or other inconspicuous hiding place and return power to printer. Using a soft cloth, remove all possible fingerprints so as not to leave any incriminating evidence (incriminating evidence, not intelligent to know if this is a noun or whatever; stuff likely to get you fired)

Mission accomplished.

Ahhhh. Yes. My forearm still hurts. But here’s what I achieved for my efforts. The LO was designed for the house challenge on UKS, which this month is based on India. The pictures were taken at Portmeirion last summer, prior to printing them I edited them to remove the colour from the general photo to allow golden balls (and that’s the statue, not Lee!) to become the focus. The journaling talks about how this strange, mystical statue came to reside in this remote and unexpected part of north Wales – it was actually a left over film prop when the village was used as the setting for the 1958 film The Inn of Sixth Happiness, starring Ingrid Bergman. Ain’t seen it myself though!!

Beautiful papers from the Urban window range by We R memory Keepers, fabric file tab by sei, primas, crystal brads, acrylic tile which reads "explore new things", paisley embellishment from local haberdashers, leather floral/eyeleted embelly is from a leather belt from Asda (!), BG alpha stickers and "buddies" hand cut from bazzil in Samarkan font. Journaling - Aladdin font.

Also receive the sketch through today for the challenge in SI – oh what to do, to do!!! Have some pics and papers in mind, so it’s just adapting them to fit now.

Right then, my buds, catch you all later xxxx

4 comments:

Di said...

Well actually I think you should try even harder to wreck the printer and then stategically leave catalogues lying around about the latest super duper, all singing, all dancing, high tech printers on the market! LOL!

Fabby LO though so it was worth it!

Good luck with the sketch challenge and glad to hear sis is getting better x

Chrissie said...

ROFL!!! Oh dear! And has the poor photocopier recovered (bwaahaahaa!)

'Incriminating evidence' is a noun phrase, by the way (but 'incriminating' is acting as an adjective, while 'evidence' is a noun).

A whole term of Grammar during my English degree has not gone to waste... LOL!

Chrissie said...

Oh...and 'stuff...up' is a verb (with an adverbial particle in the form of the word 'up')

Tum tee tum tee tum...must go find my anorak...

Cee in SF said...

I like Di's idea. I got to order a color Xerox phaser for the office once that I, and I alone, could use. Too bad we've switched to a color copier now. Now, everyone's free to wreck it.